What do you envisage when you hear the word “tights”. For me, I see a practical but unattractive garment with, quite frankly, a Victorian feel to it
Now, my closest friends know just how much I hate tights. Really hate them! In fact, I don’t think I know anyone who does like them?
Let’s look at them:
A tight leg, bum, hip and waist covering which normally results in the following:
There is also the unfortunate scenario of a hole in the leg for all to see or one in the foot where your toe sticks out, blocking all circulation. The only thing that could make this worse for me is if that “poking out toe” is unpainted (cue vomit emoji).
And then there’s having to wear tights in the summer. That surely cannot be healthy, right?
So, given the ever changing world we now live in, are we at the stage yet where one would dare to ditch these monstrosities and go bare legged in the High Court?
Personally, I wouldn’t dare do this. Although I may push my luck in my local Magistrates or County Court (depending on the Judge). On the proviso, of course, that my dress or skirt is of an adequate length to not see too much flesh!
So what do you do about the ladder scenario? Do people honestly carry extra pairs around with them? Does the old wives tale work of putting clear nail varnish over the ladder stop it getting bigger?
Let’s face it, who walks around with clear varnish tucked in their under used pencil case in a court bag? And who would risk having it removed from security staff as a “dangerous product”? Not to mention, who has the time or, quite frankly, who wants to sit in the Court waiting area, painting their ladder?
For starters you’d have to sit on the floor, as the chances of getting a chair are slim. And what an unattractive image that would be, your advocate sitting on the floor of the Court painting their own leg with clear nail varnish? It hardly screams “Alicia Florrick” does it?
This is all without the whole denier debate. There is actually a guide for this. Then there’s the colour debate -“nearly black” – isn’t that grey?
And don’t even get me started on the size scenario. The large size, for instance, fits someone who is “5-7Ft”. Excellent but what if you’re not a size 8 supermodel? There’s no worst image than seeing someone scrunch the crouch up of a pair of tights whilst trying to go on their merry way down the Strand!
When I was little, my mum used to put a pair of knickers over the top of the tights to keep them from falling down. My poor mum, having to get two girls ready and going through four pairs of knickers a day. Oh god, the washing!
The worst part for me is the putting them on. Has there ever been such an unattractive sight? Urgh! Why do we do that jumping thing to get in them?
Are fishnets socially acceptable? Sophisticated or slutty?
There are, of course, alternatives to tights. Hold ups? Good old fashioned stockings? Are they better?For me there’s the fright of the hold up falling down and scrunching around the ankles for all and sundry to see.
I would love to hear from you as to your hosiery likes and dislikes and any hints, tips or experiences. You never know we may just begin the #antitightsdebate
With glitter love