Friday Fun : Greatest fictional lawyer debate: best quotes

Elle Woods from Legally Blonde

Vivian: Nice outfit.
Elle: Oh, I like your outfit too, except when I dress up as a frigid bitch, I try not to look so constipated.

Warner Huntington III: You got into Harvard Law?
Elle: What? Like it’s hard?

Elle: I feel comfortable using legal jargon in everyday life.
[someone whistles at her]
Elle: I object!

Elle’s Mother: Honey, you were First Runner-Up at the “Miss Hawaiian Tropics” contest. Why are you going to throw that all away?
Elle: Going to Harvard is the only way I’m going to get the love of my life back.
Elle’s Father: Oh, sweetheart, you don’t need law school. Law school is for people who are boring and ugly and serious. And you, button, are none of those things.

Serena: Oh look, there’s Elle! Elle, we came to see your trial and look! There’s like a judge and everything… and jury people.
Margot: VOTE FOR ELLE!

Atticus Finch – To kill a mockingbird
1. “You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view … until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.”

2. “The one thing that doesn’t abide by majority rule is a person’s conscience.”

3. “Before I can live with other folks I’ve got to live with myself.”

5. “You just hold your head high and keep those fists down. No matter what anybody says to you, don’t you let ‘em get your goat. Try fighting with your head for a change.”

6. “Best way to clear the air is to have it all out in the open.”
Rumpole
Horace Rumpole: [entering Pomeroy’s and seeing a pensive Erskine-Brown] Oh, what can ail thee, Erskine-Brown, alone and palely loitering?
Claude Erskine-Brown: [depressed] Mmm. It’s my practice, Rumpole.
Horace Rumpole: [clearly enjoying the pun] Oh, still practicing? I thought you might have got the hang of it by now.

Horace Rumpole: [giving back the claret when he realizes he can get champagne] Jack, this horse was unfit for work.

Horace Rumpole: I never plead guilty!

Horace Rumpole: A barrister, my dear sir, is a taxi plying for hire. That is the fine tradition of our trade.

Horace Rumpole: [startled at seeing an empty breakfast table] There are no bacon and eggs, Hilda!
Hilda Rumpole: Claude doesn’t like a cooked breakfast, Rumpole, but there’s plenty of muesli. I got it for him specially.
Horace Rumpole: [looking in horror at the jar of muesli] What’s that? Sawdust and bird droppings?

Morry Machin: Have you been drinking at all this evening?
Horace Rumpole: [slightly tipsy] Of course, I’ve been drinking at all. You don’t think I come out with these blinding flashes of deduction when I’m completely sober, do you?

Kavanagh QC
Kavanagh QC[Seeing the scrapbook his late mother kept on him for the first time] She had a higher opinion of me than I have of meself at the moment.

Any nut will crack if you stamp on it hard enough. Isn’t that right, officer?

Annie Lewis: It’s been a long time since I trusted a bloke, Mr. Kavanagh.
James Kavanagh QC: Thank you, Miss Lewis. I’m flattered.
Annie Lewis: Don’t be. I’ve always been a lousy judge of men.

Let that be a lesson to you. Next time it’ll cost you a lot more than a posh nosh.

Silk -Martha Costello
Martha Costello: I’m pregnant.
Clive Reader: Oh… fuck me.
Martha Costello: I did?

Billy Lamb: Any problems?
Martha Costello: They dont make decent suits for women who are 14 weeks pregnant.

Clive Reader: Sex?
Martha Costello: Ive got a speech to make.
Clive Reader: Not a complete no then.

Caroline Warwick QC: Oh Sweetie, Screw your courage to the sticking point, pop along to court and tell the old buggers that we’ll be with them in five minutes. Just tell him I’m menopausal, and far too pissed off to talk to him right now.
Martha Costello QC: Is that true?
Caroline Warwick QC: Oh god no! I’m gasping for a fag, and so are you. We have to lean out the window or the smoke alarm goes off and you get arrested for passive manslaughter or something.