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Tuesday Tips : 5 Awkward Submissions

5 Difficult Submissions : well, this is awkward…….

1. Your Honour may have missed that important piece of evidence as your Honour appeared to, um, have his eyes closed…….

(Honest subtext :Heck judge, we even saw you dribbling a bit)

2. Your Worships, we mean no disrespect in seeking a transfer to a higher court……

(Honest subtext: We are so outta here, we’ll take the judge’s listing even if it’s 6 months away)

 

3. Your Honour, yes, we did say earlier that the matter needed to be heard urgently and your honour has the earlier availability but the advocates, um, all of us, um, consider that judge X may have, um, greater experience of this case and so………

(Honest subtext: We advocates all love judge X. You, not so much)

4. My Lord, my client instructs me that he, um, feels your lordship might not be fully acquainted with the lyrics to the songs of, um, Foxy Brown and therefore might not understand his defence…….

(Honest subtext: Listen grandad, no offence but)

5. I seek leave to appeal your decision. I say that it is wrong……

(Honest subtext: I am so going to enjoy taking this mess upstairs)

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